Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church.
Since visitors were not allowed in the church without a docent, Jane began to accompany her guest to her destination. Striking up a conversation, Jane quickly discovered there was a story behind the sad eyes of her visitor. She revealed her name was Stella and she was here from Chicago. The pair talked a bit and Jane started to tell her about the church. As they walked and talked, Jane casually asked, “What brings you to this part of Virginia?” Stella spoke in a soft tone revealing she was here for a “sort of” memorial service for her mother. The pain was obvious on her face with her lips quivering and eyes glistening with small pools of tears.
They walked into the church and sat in one of the high back pews carved from pine when George Washington was just three years old. The sun was shining through the wavy glass windows. Jane took Stella’s hands and asked her, “Would you like to tell me a little bit about your mother?” The floodgates opened. She talked for an hour. She told the story that was her Mom.
Stella was the single daughter. She had been the caregiver for her mother who died ten months ago. Her brother lived abroad and her sister and her family traveled frequently. Because it was hard to get them together, they all decided to forgo a funeral service and ship Mom’s cremated remains to Virginia for burial. It seemed, at the time, to make more sense to get together later.
They agreed on June for the get together since that’s when their family typically came to visit mom and dad in this part of Virginia. They all stayed at a local inn and had dinner at their parent’s favorite restaurant. It was nice, but something was missing. There was no service. No words were spoken for Stella’s mother. It wasn’t enough for her. It was too little and too late.
It was obvious to Jane that Stella was distraught. There had been no closure. Jane’s heart broke for her. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why. Why was there no service? Even something small, private and simple would have been better than nothing.
Jane knew some people had a fear of planning a service. They don’t know how to or what to plan. They are at a loss. They should have they called the local funeral home for help. The funeral director could have helped them find someone to pull together a brief ceremony at the graveside or in the chapel. There could have even been a service in the lovely little church where Stella sat and cried with a stranger.
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Since 1847, Murdoch Funeral Homes & Cremation Service has been committed to providing compassionate care and meaningful services that honor the lives of loved ones throughout their community. Their professional and empathetic staff offer funeral, burial, memorial and cremation services, with each service as unique as the life of the person they’re honoring. Through five generations of family ownership, this Iowa funeral home focuses on providing care to families before, during, and after services, offering resources that help them navigate their new journey through grief. Murdoch Funeral Homes & Cremation Service is honored to provide guidance and care to families in need throughout Cedar Rapids, Marion, Manchester, Center Point, Central City, Earlville, Iowa and surrounding communities. Visit murdochfuneralhome.com to learn more.
Planning a funeral in advance is a compassionate and thoughtful choice that may ease emotional and practical burdens for loved ones.
Families in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, often ask which option—cremation or burial—best reflects their wishes when planning a meaningful farewell.
Families in Cedar Rapids often ask what funeral services include and how each part of the process helps them honor a loved one.
Families in Cedar Rapids often ask how preplanning can ease emotional and financial decisions.
Families in Cedar Rapids, IA often wonder what happens during the cremation process.
Families in Cedar Rapids, Iowa often ask what is required from the next of kin when planning burial or cremation arrangements. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), written authorization from the legal next of kin is generally required before any final arrangements can move forward.
Families in Cedar Rapids often wonder why funeral and cremation costs differ from one funeral home to another. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), pricing variations are common nationwide and typically reflect regional operating costs, staffing needs, and the types of services selected.
According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 2024 General Price List Study, the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025.
According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the 2024 national median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is around $8,300, while the median cost for a funeral with cremation is approximately $6,280.
